Hi! Welcome to Slut Central. My name is Princess, and I`ll be your help today.
First of all, we`re going to spend four hours blow drying and straightening your hair, not to mention dying it the exact same colour as all of your friends, even though it looked better before we touched it. Here`s your padded push-up bra that will make you look like a ridiculously fake 34C, and of course, your pair of pink army print Dorinhas in a size 0, even though you`re obviously a size 5. It`s okay, it`s totally sexy when your hips and beer belly ooze over the tops of your pants. You can wear whatever shirt you want as long as it shows cleavage and matches our trendy name-brand shoes. We`re also going to pierce your tongue, nipples, clitoris, ears and belly button so you can list all your piercings to anybody that will listen, because it's just so incredibly sexy to have a piece of metal sticking out of your cunt. There are boys all over this park ranging from ages 15 to 20. Please have sex with as many as possible, and then brag about it to everyone. You can lie about your age if you think that will make them respect you more. It won`t, but you might as well try. Also, find another hot little girl that will make out with you and fondle your fake boobies so that onlooking guys can get a boner and you can say, proudly, "I inspired that with my pseudo-bisexuality, which is SO hot right now." Whenever our shitty hip hop music comes on, you must begin grinding with whatever boy or girl is closest to you. You may not, nder any circumstances, actually DANCE unless you are shaking your ass. Also, it`s pretty much an ongoing party here, so drink as much of your Bacardi Breezers and smoke as much of your fake boyfriend's pot as you can. You`re SO much more attractive and funny when you're drunk/ripped off your face. If you see anyone in the park that is NOT a slut or the companion of a slut, you must sneer at/whisper about them to your friends. If you are feeling particularly brave and/or pre-menstrual, you can say something to them along the lines of, "OMG like nice shirt, where`d you buy it, VALUE VILLAGE?" and then collapse in fits of hapless giggles with your make-out sisters.
Here`s your complimentary Paris Hilton perfume, 50 Cent CD and fake Louis Vuitton purse. The purse is completely pointless since it`s only about as big as your pinky and you can`t even fit your shiny pink cell phone into it, but that`s okay, because the cell phone`s only for show anyway.
The only people that call you are your parents and your best friend, asking what outfit you're wearing tomorrow so you girls can co-ordinate and act like it was by accident. Oh, and that guy that you gave a blow job to last week at that party MIGHT call if you leave enough messages for him.
PS: Please,
no less than three inches of your super-sexy black g-string may hang out of your pants.
That's all. Have fun, girlies